After Stephanie Roth lost her 14-year-old son to a car accident in 2014, she was desperately looking for a step by step guide to overcome the insurmountable grief that followed.
The Milford resident recalls telling friends shortly after the accident, “I just need a road map and someone to tell me to do this first, this second.” Her plea was greeted with comments that there was no such book that existed.
Looking for an outlet, Roth turned to a journal she had received and began to write. Pages filled daily with all the emotions, questions and thoughts that had surfaced.
“I have hundreds of pages of me getting through the mess that was our life in the early days (after the accident),” she said.
She knew in those pages was something she could use to provide people experience grief and loss a resource similar to what she sought. With the help of a “how to” book on writing, she put her thoughts into book form and produced 86,000 words in just three months. She decided to slow down th eprocess and take time revamp her thoughts.
Two years later, she edited her original text, added more information she had picked up in the years since her initial writing session and had a finished copy.
Now, she's ready to release “Grief Done Differently.” Roth defines the book as “not your grandma's guide to grief” and an “edgy, unfiltered yet faith-based” book that “reads as a letter from a trusted friend.” Roth's book will hit the shelves and she plans on hosting a release party on Nov. 7 at the Milford Mennonite Church.
Roth said she's pleased with the finished product and knows that it will fill the gap and answer questions she had following the accident.
“It's the how-to book I never had,” she said.
She said the book covers how to discover motivation for change, form a healthy relationship with God, make the decision to heal, restore mind and body through positive daily practices, reclaim life today and heal relationships through love and respect.
Those steps, she said, will unlock the person who has been hidden by grief.
“You have to find that warrior within to do the hard things,” she said. “We are all in the same boat. There's something for everyone in there whether they're struggling with the loss of a person or thing or struggling to find the joy in life or a direction.”
The book ends with a chapter called “Just Jump,” which Roth said sums up the importance of fully committing to the healing process.
“Why sit on the sidelines?” she said. “Life is short. We have to decide what we want to do in our life and go after it.”
Roth said when she was writing the book, she wasn't sure how wide her audience would be since very few experience loss on the scale she had. Looking back through the pages, she said, she realized it can be a resource for anyone who feels lost or needs to find encouragement that dark days won't last.
“The book does a good job not just being about grieving and loss, but being about living your best life,” she said. “There are so many things the book can help with.
“It's a book about life, not a book about death.”
